My first day at ComicCon Munich is over. I had a ton of fun, met some old and new faces and laughed with both. And I was lucky enough to run across a photographer who sent me this nice pic đ
ah you always love picking ones where I can Up the Angst đ Hereâs 19! đÂ
I feel like I havent written from Bodhiâs perspective in a whileâŚ
âAre you avoiding me?âÂ
Cassian corners Bodhi when heâs about to leave the dining hall, eyes full of an emotion that locks Bodhi in place, but also grabbing his arm to keep him there.Â
âUmmm⌠no?â Bodhi shakes his head, convincing himself more than Cassian. âNo. Not at all. Why would I be running away from you?âÂ
Cassianâs expression shifts to grim skepticism. âReally? So you werenât trying to dart away just now.âÂ
Bodhi begins to shake his head, then sighs. âI donât want to do this here, not now, Cass.â He mentally pleads with Cassian, and feels him let go of his arm. He doesnât take his arm back, a twinge of guilt fluttering at the base of his stomach.
âWill you just tell me the truth?â Cassianâs face lacks the emotion it had earlier, but thereâs something in his voice that threatens to break Bodhiâs resolve. Hurt. Disappointment.
Why was he doing this? Bodhi wasnât sure. Maybe it was the second looks theyâd been getting. Are getting. Anxiety barges into his heart like an unwelcome guest. He has a choice to make. Stay and talk to Cassian, and feel the many eyes boring into the back of his head, or walk away and be weighted with guilt.
Bodhiâs hands are trembling again. He can feel it, but canât do anything to stop them. Cassianâs eyes drop from his face to his hands, and his gaze softens as he grips them.
This is what Bodhi was running away from. That look. That concern. He didnât want to be a burden, bursting into Cassianâs room late at night, haunted by traumas; letting his name and reputation become entangled with Bodhiâs; subjecting him to the same taunting eyes that dug into Bodhi like daggers (captain andor? with an imperial?âŚ)
âBodhi. Bodhi!â He snaps out of his thoughts. Concern is written all over Cassianâs face. âIâm sorry. You need time. You need to be away from me. Iâm sorry, I shouldâve realized that earlier.â Cassian moves to let go of Bodhiâs hands but Bodhi clenches them tighter, closer.Â
Bodhiâs shaking his head, for real this time. âN-no. It was my mistake. I didnât want to bother you. Distract you. But I think-I think itâs doing us more harm than good.â
He can see Cassian visibly swallowing a sarcastic retort (you THINK?) and he almost grins, because snarkiness was a trait heâd picked up from Bodhi. Instead Cassian squeezes Bodhiâs hands and says, âOkay. But take your time.â
âI already have,â he replies. Cassian smiles at him and daggersâ edges begin to dull.Â
âwhy canât female heroes kick arse in heelsâ because itâs not practical and will literally snap your damn ankle you can scream weaponised femininity all you want but first off, you need to admit that theyâre not an almighty symbol of empowerment, and secondly that if you do a job with a lot of physical activity in heels youâre risking your own safety. all these women fighting in heels on tv are going to end up seriously injuring themselves.Â
weaponised femininity is a concept made up in an attempt to get us to embrace the industries created to hold us back/profit from our insecurities so that we can continue to fit into the male expectation of what a woman should be and not question why we are forced to spend thousands on our appearance every year
just a small anecdote. I had a friend who worked in theater; she was the stage manager and an actress came to her in tears one day because the director absolutely refused to let her do a choreographed fight scene in less than 3 inch heels because âtheyâre platforms so youâll be okay.â My friend, who is a womanâs size 10, brought her own heels in the next day and DEMANDED the director put them on and try the choreography before the actress did it. He finally agreed to change it, without putting the heels on.
so like I know you might think of âall those women on tv fighting in heelsâ as fictional woman who WOULD hurt themselves in real life, but its fiction so its okayâŚexcept those women are portrayed by real actresses who are actually fighting in actual heels, being directed by dudes who have never worn a pair of heels in their lives, alongside men who arenât expected to constantly wear things that make their stunts 2x more dangerous than they have to be. Just a thought.
Men take âletâs see feminine women being badassâ to mean âletâs see women impractically focused on their appearance in combat situations.â
Thatâs why I loved Black Panther even more Nakia took off her heels and used them as weapons and was running and driving around barefoot in that one scene
A number of stuntwomen have spoken out about getting injured on sets because the character is wearing heels and skimpy clothing that provide no protection or padding. It literally harms rl women.
Anyone else terrified that they are toxic and manipulative and just canât see it? Or is that just me?
A lot of people whoâve been abused think this. Itâs very common for abusers to try to convince their victims that they, in some small part, deserve the abuse.
And a common way of doing that is to frame the defensive tactics of the victim as bad, manipulative things.
This includes people who are too worried of coming across as controlling or manipulative to express their needs. It took me a long time to be able to tell my boyfriend that his music was causing me physical pain because my abusers targeted my disability as justification for their behavior (saying Iâm âtoo needyâ and âneed to accept that [they] have done so much for [me], the things [they] do are just part of life.â)
This includes people who are too scared to admit when they are hungry, thirsty, tired, stressed, or otherwise running on fumes, because their abusers may have made them believe that asking for (or just helping themselves to) food or sleep or space is somehow wrong or detestable.
This includes people who will still flinch, even when theyâve long âescapedâ their abusers. Because it is reflexive. It is expected. It is ingrained as normal and when they do small things that may have become doable, like feeding themselves without being told to or having prepared food for others, and someone calls attention to their actions, their heart will race and they may stammer or find themselves a little panicked. Getting a snack in your shared home with your best friend in the world who helped you evacuate your abusive exâs home can go over fine until said friend humorously, harmlessly comments âWhat, you didnât get me any fruit snacks?â
The long lasting effects of abuse have funny ways of showing themselves.
So like,,, I just saw Rogue One todayâŚand Iâd already seen gifs of what looked like a pretty sunset for our main characterâŚit wasnât a sunsetâŚ
He comes down off the ship, jacket still snug around his body, when he sees Bodhi. Itâs normally Jyn that greets him, always Jyn, except when sheâs on a mission, which isnât that surprising, given that the Pathfinders seem to always be on the go. He had wanted to see her, of course, had missed her, but Jyn being away⌠he had waited a month to see her. He could wait a few more days until she returned.
Bodhiâs face, though, it says something else. A bubble of fear settles into the pit of Cassianâs stomach, and he realizes he might be waiting a bit longer than that.
He wants to turn and run, return to his ship, because on his ship, Jyn had been waiting for him just outside, and he was going to once again try to work up the courage to tell her how he felt, and now⌠now everything is in turmoil.
âBodhiâŚâ he says, and the pilot doesnât even look at him, just down at his hands, where heâs pulling on a rag, one he had just been using.
âCassian, itâs Jyn, she-â
The way that Bodhiâs shoulders are shifted forward, how his face is scrunched up, how heâs unable to talk⌠it says it all. Others in the hanger, theyâre looking at him, looking at him with pity, with sorrow, withâŚ
Whatâs a âhalf-mourningâ dress? Â Mourning in the front, party in the back?
Half-Mourning was the third stage of mourning for a widow. She would be expected to mourn her husband for at least two years, the stages being Full Mourning, Second Mourning and Half-Mourning. The different stages regulated what they would be wearing, with Full Mourning being all black and with no ornamentation, including the wodowâs veil, and the stages after that introducing some jewellery and modest ornamentation. When in Half-Mourning you would gradually include fabrics in other colors and sort of ease your way out of mourning.Â
Wow, I am happy you made that joke so I could interpert it as a serious question and have an excuse to ramble on about clothing customs of the past, I am a historical fashion nerd.
Thatâs very informative, but Iâm going to stick with my original head canon:
I love both the informed fashion history and the hilariously off-the-wall halves of this post.
Rebellions are built on hope 