sif and valkyrie meet on a lesbian dating app on earth and for the whole date theyre both in disguise as midguardians not realizing that both of them are from asgard
What I love about this is they’d both be terrible at it but for completely opposite reasons.
Sif would try very hard but she is an earnest Old Worlde Asgardian to her bones and would be every alien/timetraveller-fails-to-fit-in cliche at once. “More of your Earth food, please, fellow human” and so forth.
Valkyrie has spent a few thousand years in a cutthroat multicultural urban environment and could probably adapt and pass as human if she actually tried, but instead she’d do the most token effort imaginable. It’s not like any of these Midguardians would recognise alien tech, and changing clothes is effort, etc.
And both of them would be very pleased at how much easier this all was than they were expecting. “I’m doing great!” they would both think, comparing notes on their favourite kind of spaceship (midguardians have spaceships, right?) and having an arm wrestling context where they use 1/10th of their strength, eg enough to break the arm of any actual human.
And then eventually Sif would be overcome with guilt and tearfully explain her Terrible Lie and Valkyrie would go YOU MEAN I PUT ALL THIS EFFORT IN FOR NOTHING and then Sif would die of fangirling because Valkyrie.
And then they’d make out, the end.
um um um SOMEONE WRITE THIS STORY OH MY GOD amazing
Shuri shouting out the floor is lava and recording the confusion among the avengers wondering why tchalla king of Wakanda hopped up on a counter cause goddammit his little sister pulls this shit all the time and peter is stuck on the wall because he’s also a child of the internet and understands the meme life and now his fate is sealed there will never not be a time Shuri isn’t camera ready and yelling out the floor is lava to see the wackiest places she could get peter to stick on
T’Challa ignored her once so she developed synthetic deployable lava and the next time she yelled the floor is lava it actually was. T’Challa lives in fear now because he knows if he doesn’t pretend the floor is dangerous, it will be.
Once she got peter to stick onto T’Challa.
Everytime she does this, Thor is the first to find high ground. because Loki used to play the same game, and Loki was never one for ‘pretend’.
I need fanart of, like, all of these scenarios.
I have now the mental image of Thor on the counter, T’Challa hanging on his arm and Peter clinging onto T’Challa’s leg, hovering about 2cm above a pool of lava, with Loki and Shuri crying with laughter
joss whedon: loki tortures and murders people for fun, and, despite being the god of CHAOS, is a fascist who says things like “it’s the unspoken truth of humanity that you crave subjugation”
taika waititi: loki is an annoying little shit who day-drinks, puts on theater about himself, and fucks his way to the top
joss whedon: loki and thor are gods, so they always talk proper and posh and in cryptic riddles so for no reason. it makes them seem more powerful and mystical.
taiki waititi: one time when they were kids loki turned into a snake because he knows thor loves snakes and then thor went to pick up the snake and then loki turned back into himself and screamed “yueagh, it’s me!” and then he stabbed thor
Taika Waititi has a deeper understanding of Norse mythological accuracy than Joss lol
After everything that happened in Ragnarok, imagine Thor hearing about Steve and Tony’s fight and being like “Really?! Thats why you all stopped working together?! Just get over it! I did! I’m still friends with Loki and he’s betrayed me three times since breakfast! This petty mortal shit is nothing!”
Loki: “Can confirm, poisoning his mead right now.”
Thor: “Ha! I’ve built up an immunity.”
Now I feel I was cheated on Civil War
Steve: “Well, we disagreed about this big political thing, and I mean big – almost every country in the world was involved.”
Thor: *nodding* “Right.”
Steve: “So we started to fight, I mean really fight. We each had about half a dozen friends backing us up.”
Thor: *nodding* “Always best to bring your friends along”
Steve: “And by the end, it was just me and Tony, and we… we really pounded each other…. no holding back.”
Rebellions are built on hope 