when I try to hear this in my head my mental voice is incapable of pronouncing it fast enough to fit the timing of the line
“noooo oooone… adjksjfksfjslenry like Gaston!”
and when I try to fit it to one of the longer such lines, my mental voice becomes too confused about conflicting scansion to continue
no one’s droll like gaston no one’s swole like gaston no one fits his assigned gender role like gaston
I’m especially fond of the paaaatriaaarchy
My what a guy that gastooon
Bless you for making it scan
NOW I CAN’T READ IT WITHOUT SINGING IN MY HEAD
No one’s droll like Gaston, No one’s swole like Gaston, No one fits his assigned gender role like Gaston! For there’s no one online half as phony, His tinder’s got dick pics to spare, You can ask any neckbeard or brony They’ll show you (no homo) whose trilby they’d wear! No one drawls like Gaston Or catcalls like Gaston, Or manspreads on the train in a sprawl like Gaston! I’m especially fond of the paaaatriaaarchy! My what a guy that Gastooon!
Years ago, you promised your firstborn to a witch. Since then, despite your best efforts, you can’t seem to get laid. The witch is starting to get pretty pissed.
Y’all get together to discuss your options and she starts coaching you on how to get men because she doesn’t want to waste more magic on you without promise of payment. The more time you guys spend together the more you realize you have a bit of a crush on her. Soon you’re sabotaging your dates on purpose to see her again.
Long story short you fall in love and get married and do the sperm donor thing AND YOUR FIRSTBORN IS HERS BY DEFAULT and you live happily ever after. The end.
The 2019 ACA (Affordable Care Act) enrollment period has been shortened from 90 days to 45 days (November 1-December 15, 2018) and the advertising budget to promote open enrollment has been slashed in an effort to sabotage the program. You’re probably not seeing a lot of advertising (read: zero) about the enrollment window online or on TV.
“Childhood trauma can affect a person so greatly because of its prescence in the time of developmemt. Events that would normally change a person become embedded in every fiber of one’s identity. It is this time of life which is so crucial to your entire future. This is the unique nature of C-PTSD, which doesn’t merely change a person, it creates them. It builds every trait, interest, and understanding of the world with this toxin. Nothing is unaffected or unaltered because all there is to alter was created by the trauma. Moving forward is not moving back to before the trauma, it is in every essence a rebirth and reeducation of life itself. To move on we can not erase, because to erase trauma’s effect we in theory erase ourselves.”
This is a guy who has VERY strong opinions on the new cheese stand at the farmer’s market and his husband who is FED UP HEARING ABOUT IT FOR THE 17TH TIME
When your husband is STILL bringing up the new cheese stand 2 months later and you been trying to tell him that no one else really has a problem with the cheese stand but he starts talking to an employee in the store about it and they have a 30 minute long conversation about it and you forgot your reusable bags and the almond milk and greek yogurts are making the recycled paper bags soft
Rebellions are built on hope 